Nonny Morgan

So, I was speaking with Paul yesterday and got an update on the situation with the kittens. If you have missed it, here is the previous update, and here the long version of the situation.

To summarize, Buddy was seen for his anxiety and prescribed medication. It was also discovered that he had tapeworms and a UTI, which he has been treated for.

Paul says the medications have been helping very much, which is awesome. Buddy has been much more cheerful and friendly; he's ventured out from Paul's room, even past the big dog that Paul's housemates own. As far as the litter box, he is using it! Sorta. He still does not like litter, of which Paul is in the process of trying different types, but he is no longer freaking out at the presence of the box, and he is using the box with an old towel in it. It's not ideal, but it's a step in the right direction, and it's better than finding cat pee and poop everywhere else!

However, there is still an issue and that is also part of why I'm posting this.

Because of the tapeworms, Buddy's sister, Girlie, needed to be seen by the vet and treated herself. Between Girlie's visit, her medications, Buddy's medications, and purchasing different styles of litterboxes and litter to try... there is no more money left.

This is a problem because Buddy needs a follow-up on the UTI. They need to make sure that it is actually gone, and not something else that may require a special diet or other treatments. The vet visit is $50 flat plus whatever tests they have to do. Paul's monthly income is $197/mo through a state program. He is still waiting to hear back the decision of his disability hearing, and that could still take months.

So I am asking once again, if anyone has a spare buck or two, to please toss it in the hat. Paul's PayPal is p.a.pierce@gmail.com. I know money is tight for a lot of people, so if you're not able to do that, I would ask that you please boost the signal. I love these kitties dearly and worry so much about their health. I know that Paul is dedicated to making sure they get the care they need, but it's really hard when you're on such a limited budget.

I do not have the spoons to write a short version for copypasta; if someone is willing/able to do so in the comments, I will edit the post with it. Thank you all so very much. <3


Edit: Short version as provided by naamah_darling, who is made of awesome and win!

Buddy is a service kitty for Paul, a disabled person who is still waiting for the final decision of his disability hearing. Previous update. Full story, long version. Buddy's had problems with the litter box, and with serious anxiety/panic attacks lately, and was diagnosed with a UTI.

Good news: People have been super-generous, and that's awesome! Major steps have been made and things are going really well. Buddy is doing better now that he's got anxiety meds, and is learning to get along with the litter box again! He and his sister, Girlie, were both taken to the vet and wormed. Yay! Buddy's UTI appears to be improving, too! LOOK AT WHAT YOU PEOPLE DID! It's awesome!

Meh news: Between the vet visits, tests, worming for two cats, meds, and trying different kinds of litter/boxes to see what makes Buddy feel safe, funds are depleted. Buddy needs a follow-up with the vet to check on the UTI. If his litter issues are to be resolved, they gotta be sure they found the source, which means being sure they got the UTI fixed! That appointment will be $50, plus whatever they'll charge for the tests that need to be done.

How you can help: Reposting this, and linking it around, would be great. Also, donations. Paul's PayPal is p.a.pierce@gmail.com. This is a case where just a little money can make a big difference in the quality of life for a disabled dude and his loyal service kitty.

This is Ash, better known as Buddy, being held by nonny. Buddy is an anxious cat who has panic attacks. One of his triggers is the litter box. He can't use them. Therefore, he urinates and defecates elsewhere. This is creating problems, as can be expected, in his person's living situation. His person, Paul, lives on $200 a month in an apartment with two other people. Buddy is Paul's service animal; he's done things like bring Paul his bag of medication. Buddy is also tightly bonded to his sister, Girlie, and they cannot be separated. Paul can't afford to take Buddy to a vet, get him diagnosed as anxious, and started on medication to try to work on the litterbox issue without help. Because of his income, he doesn't qualify for Care Credit, and most vets don't do payment plans. If you can donate, Paul's PayPal account is p.a.pierce@gmail.com. If you want more information on the situation, nonny has a post about it.

Okay, so I'm copy-pasting this from my friend naamah_darling's LJ as I don't have the spoons to write up a post of my own. For those wondering and may remember, yes, the Grace in question is my ex... and what she's going through, no person should ever have to. We are fostering her other two kitties, Duke and Toaster, but there is no way we could take 4 with the number of cats we already have.

If anybody is able to foster or knows people that might be willing or can please get the word out... please, please, please do so. I know these cats, and they are very sweet, affectionate kitties.

Okey-dokey. Here's the deal.

My friend Grace (aka snowcoma) still desperately needs to find a long-term fosterer for her kitties. Their names are Little Owl and Edward-Cat. They are in Seattle.

Grace is in about the worst place a person can be in. She's currently homeless, and while she has a temporary place to stay while she gets back on her feet, her cats are being boarded -- extremely temporarily -- at a vet's office.

If nobody can take them, they'll go to the shelter. We all know how overloaded shelters everywhere are. We all know what happens to adult cats in shelters. I don't like putting it like that, but . . . yes. At the very least, they would be adopted by gods-know-who and she would never see them again. That's unacceptable to me. No. That's just unthinkable.

Grace . . . Grace is extremely bipolar, like me, and like me, she relies on her cats for emotional support. Being separated from them is bad enough. The prospect of having them put down and losing them forever just because life is shitty and crazy is shittier is absolutely horrific. Like, I've had nightmares about it level horrific.

These cats come with character references out the wazoo. Neutered, shots, etc. Get along together just fine. Basically, perfect cats.



Guys. That face.

What we need:

Help finding them a foster home, long-term would be best, but at this point, we are just trying to keep them out of kill shelters. Local to Seattle-ish would be best, but if necessary, maybe we could get them driven out somewhere else. Maybe folks could help arrange transport. Grace can be reached at: 503-568-6660. She keeps odd hours, so don't hesitate to leave voicemail.

-and/or-

Donations to help keep them boarded at the vet's. It's about $28 a day for both of them. If you can donate to this, please contact ashbet. Her email address is ashbet@gmail.com. Ashbet is an amazing person, by the way, and is why they are currently in a vet's being boarded, not in a shelter. So, thank you, babe.

I've posted about this before trying to get them a permanent place to stay, and the best we've got so far is this (very much appreciated) temporary boarding deal. We really need to make this happen. Mostly I just throw the cat halp stuff up here and say "f-list, f-list, do as you will." This time, we need to make the magic happen. I need signal boosts on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Livejournal, and anywhere else you can boost it. I need a fucking miracle, Internet. I'm not just trying to help a friend, I'm trying to help keep a fellow lycanthrope from losing her heart, when she has lost just about everything else a person can lose.

Nobody deserves this. Nobody. Can we please make the world just this one tiny bit less cruel?

Here's the link again. Please spread it around.

Since the internet has been abuzz with rants and raves about this particular book... well. Initially, I was going to be the Cool Kid and not read it, but I gave in. ;) As always, I has thoughts!

(For those who have been living under a rock, Fifty Shades of Grey is a barely rewritten Twilight/Edward alternate universe fanfic in which Bella (Ana) is just graduating college and Edward (Christian) is a multimillionaire businessman. The book is about their romance and involves a lot of sex and BDSM. It's very clearly smut. The author, E. L. James published it through a small press which I believe is an author co-op and somehow, it sold like hotcakes. James now has a contract with Random House and a movie deal is in the works, though I have no idea how they're going to make this into anything less than an NC-17 rated movie.)

Let me get this out of the way first: The book is a hot mess. I have read significantly better prose in crit groups, and this is some of the worst writing I've encountered. I'm not surprised that the "publisher" was actually an author co-op, because it's pretty obvious between grammar errors, bad formatting, horrible punctuation, and writing that just plain doesn't make sense, that no editor touched this thing.

However, having read it, I'm not surprised it's popular. Let's face it: Many readers are not as discerning as writers are (which makes sense; we work hard at our skill and thus we see errors more easily), and I've honestly lost track of the number of times I've heard a reader say they care more about the story; good writing is just a bonus. On top of that, the story follows a well-worn wish fulfillment fantasy: that of the hot, wealthy businessman with loads of issues who falls in love with the girl next door and can only be healed by the power of true love. Look at pretty much every Harlequin Presents romance in existence; these books are not uncommon. The big difference with Fifty Shades is that it became popular outside of romance circles.

(Also I must add here: Not all romances follow this trope. There are plenty of well-written romances with strong heroines and non-asshole heroes. Considering I write romance, I don't really want to hear crap about the genre, thanks. ;)

But that's not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is the BDSM aspects. And for this I'm ( continuing under a cut with WARNING for frank talk about sex, BDSM, consent, coercion/sexual assault, and related stuffs; also includes some discussion of victim-blaming )

Read this to have any clue as to what I'm talking about.

Thank gods for lorazepam. Really, thank gods. It is the only way I am all up in this post (the linked one on the beta forums), arguing back and forth with all the idiots who are screaming "censorhsip!!!" and "coercion/pressure!!" because numerous women have stated that they are uncomfortable with the dialogue of a questgiver as it stands and offered several possible solutions.

I expected a good bit of backlash from men, but it's sad how many women have spoken up to say that they see no problem with a character that hits on you and reduces you to your looks while a male character is complimented on his strength and prowess. Aren't we supposed to be worth more than that?

(I meant to post this earlier this morning but apparently didn't click the post button before I zonked out for the day. Whoops.)

direct link to the forum thread now that it's loading for me again. I'm Eilwyn on there.

I love urban fantasy. I have for years. I started out with Mercedes Lackey's Diana Tregarde series, then discovered Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake books, and longed for more. For a long while, it just didn't exist. Annnnnd then it boomed.

Unfortunately, there's a pattern in urban fantasy that I have a huge problem with and has been turning me off the genre more and more. And that's the treatment of women in urban fantasy. You would think this wouldn't be an issue. After all, most urban fantasy these days features a tough, competent, kickass heroine. What could go wrong? Well, a lot of things.

Most prevalent is the overwhelming tendency to completely defang women. Hear me out. Most modern urban fantasy has a heavy romantic subplot and borrows heavily from romance tropes. Being a writer myself, I follow a lot of writing circles, and I can't tell you how many times I have heard someone say, "I have this awesome heroine, but she's so capable, she does everything! And I need to make the hero sexy! And nobody will find the hero sexy if the heroine can do better than him!"

Ignoring the obvious solution of having the hero and heroine have completely different and complementary strengths, far too many writers go for the TSTL solution. If I had a penny for every time I saw a heroine do something completely out of character... *sigh*

Like, oh, storming off for no good reason and doing something utterly stupid that nobody competent in their field would do. Usually because, well, the hero suggested it, and thus he must be wrong. And if there was a good reason for the heroine to disagree, great! But that's often not it at all. It's a matter of cutting off her nose to spite her face. It's a plot device to put the heroine in a position where the hero has to come to the rescue and save her from her own stupidity -- and frankly, this is just insulting. And it's common. Ridiculously common. And it's lazy writing.

It's one thing if, hey, the heroine runs into odds that she can't beat, or an enemy that's stronger than her, or gets outwitted by someone equally as capable. But that's not what's happening. These are situations the author is forcing the heroine into by making her act out of character for the purpose of giving the hero a moment to shine. Why not put the characters in situations where both their skills are needed? But, that wouldn't allow the heroine to be the damsel in distress, now would it?

One of the other major issues in urban fantasy in regards to women is how the heroines relate to other women. In a genre that is so focused on strong female characters, it is pretty shocking how few heroines actually have relationships with other women. Often, other women are not friends and allies, but the enemy. Often, the heroine looks down on other women. And you see the same trope over and over again -- the leather-clad dark and tortured gun-toting heroine whose strength is all physical or perhaps supernatural.

This is really just the whole "girl in the boy's club" thing rearing its head. Femininity is derided while masculinity is put on a pedestal. Rarely do we see women who enjoy feminine things, and when we do, it's usually a slight touch rather than an integral part of the character. Even Anita Blake, with her stuffed penguin collection, dismisses and derides other women. It's been a long time since I read the books, admittedly, and I haven't read the recent ones, but of the early series, all the characters that I recall her being close to were male.

(Mind, the problem is not that masculine-leaning heroines exist. The problem is that they are the sole archetype that we see commonly in urban fantasy heroines.[1])

Very few urban fantasies actually pass the Bechdel test (two women, who talk to each other, about something other than a man). For a genre that is supposedly woman-focused, that's just sad. Where are all the relationships between women? Most of us have friends who are women, mothers, sisters, aunts, etc. Where are they?

So what's the solution here? It comes down to writers being aware of the social implications their fiction will have. Because words have meanings, and stories have power. If they didn't have power, Piers Anthony's Mode books wouldn't have helped me when I was a suicidal teen, and Mercedes Lackey's books wouldn't have helped me come to terms with my bisexuality.

When even supposedly strong heroines are undermined at every turn and cannot succeed without the aid of a man, the underlying message is that of Well, if $awesomecharacter can't do it, why should I believe I can? Women are already at a disadvantage in society, with all the negative messages lobbed at us. We should be able to read fiction that empowers us, not reinforces that we are nothing without a man.

I am not saying that heroines should be all-powerful, because that would be boring. But if you're writing about a top-notch FBI agent, you don't have her forget basic gun safety. You don't have her barging into trouble without thinking about it. You don't have her so distracted by the hero's good looks that she misses the villain's move and gets trapped (and yes, I have read this). It sends a very negative message.

So how do you get around it when you need the heroine to screw up somewhere? Well, make it a believable screw-up, not something that a rookie would do (unless your character is a rookie, but most of the heroines I've seen in urban fantasy are purported to be some of the best at what they do). Or, hey, maybe she doesn't have all the information, makes a decision on what she knows, and then finds out that she was missing a vital piece of the puzzle.

But you know what I'd love to see more of? I'd love to see more heroines who get themselves out of that pickle, rather than heroines who have to be rescued by the hero. But, how do I manage an alpha hero and heroine and their power struggle without having one or the other knuckle under? Not everything has to be a power struggle, although they can be fun to write. The best alpha heroes I've read have been adept in their own field but respected the heroine in hers and listened to her opinions. But what if they're both experts in the same field? Well, hey, they're probably going to argue -- but the automatic reaction shouldn't be for the heroine to be the one who's wrong. Mix it up a little. Or hey! Maybe they're both wrong.

There's a lot of focus on alpha heroes in urban fantasy and a need to make them sexy. You know what? The sexiest heroes I've read aren't the ones who are always rescuing the artificially created dumbass heroine -- they're the ones who respect the heroine, her abilities, her strengths, and love her for who she is. The ones who aren't threatened by a strong woman. The ones who know when it's appropriate to take a backseat. The ones who know when it's time to stand their ground, and when it's time to say, "Hey, you know more about this than I do", or "I don't agree, but let's compromise." It's not an all or nothing situation.

I'd love to see more women who have relationships with other women, too. I'd also like to see a greater breadth of heroines -- heroines of color, heroines with disabilities, queer heroines, etc! Or hey, maybe not the heroine but a lady friend who is one of the above, or someone deeply involved in the story. I'd love to see more focus on this, because the lone uber!heroine surrounded by a sausage-fest is getting old.

This is something that writers have the power to change. Let's change it.


[1] I know there are exceptions to this. Please do not focus on them. This is a widespread issue, and the fact that there are exceptions does not negate that the overwhelming majority of urban fantasy heroines fits only one archetype.

mermaiden and her partner are looking to get legally married, as it's just recently passed in NY. They need help in order to do it in time. They have art and jewelery available for purchase, as well as ebooks, and if you donate via paypal, they'll provide a free book of your choice, regardless of how much you donate. If you're not able to, pass the word!

Considering all the disasters I end up signal boosting for, it's nice to be boosting something happy for once. :)

Some of y'all may have heard about this, but Leslie Esdaile (well-known in romance and sf/f as LA Banks) is very ill with adrenal cancer. I don't know whether or not she is insured, but costs are becoming astronomical. Folks have put together a benefit auction to raise money for her medical treatment. If you're able, check out what's available, and if you can't, please consider boosting the signal. Leslie is an amazing writer, and from all accounts, a wonderful person, so please pass this along!